Saturday, 30 October 2010

Life Perceptions vs Human Tendencies

My son came to me the other day and asked if I would mind taking him to join our local Air Training Corps (ATC/Air Cadets). Recently he has also asked if I would take him for Guitar and Skateboarding lessons. Whilst he is prepared to pay for the Skateboarding lessons himself, and I had already promised that I will pay for the guitar lessons, this extra activity became, in my mind, an issue of time - and as I have finally got around to starting to sort out my house properly (more on that later), a rather large one at that. I didnt say anything to him, but my first thought was "What!!?? How the HELL am I supposed to fit ALL of that in!!?? For Heavens Sake kid - Get A Clue about Life will you??!!" But then I stopped - mid thought. Isn't "getting a clue about life" EXACTLY what he is trying hard to do? And as his mother am I not morally and emotionally obliged to help him do that? Well yes - but that isnt exactly what really occurred to me first;

I thought about all of the things that, as his mother, I would be prepared to do for my son. I came to the conclusion that in the end if his life was in danger and the only way to save it was to endanger my own I would do it - of course I would. If my son stepped out infront of a truck, I would run infront of that truck to push him out of the way knowing damn well that it would kill me. As his mother I live with that knowledge every minute of every day and will do so for the rest of my life - that reality will never change for me. SO, here I am, prepared to die for my son, to give up what is left of my whole life, and yet I was questioning whether I was prepared to take time out to get him to the ATC and his extra-curricular lessons, which is nothing, a mere drop in the ocean compared to what I am ultimately prepared to do for him.

It occurred to me then that it was more a question of keeping things in perspective, and avoiding the tendency as a human being to over complicate things - often, and a lot!