Saturday, 26 June 2010

Suicide Solution?

I used to think that the only reason why suicide is a bad thing to do, is because of how it will hurt the people around us at the time. Friends, family, loved ones, people that we care for and who care for us left devestated by our premature departure. Over the years however I have come to understand that it is also about the people we haven't met yet.......

I think most people now accept that we are here on earth for a reason, that we are here to learn.  The reason why we are here to learn is perhaps a little more elusive, but that we are here to learn has become more and more accepted in the Universal Consciousness.  If that is true, then it is also true that we not only learn these lessons from each other, but we teach them to each other as well. A lot of people also accept that to die having not learned all of the lessons that you are supposed to learn in this lifetime, (or as many spiritual practitioners call it: "dieing with Unfinished Business"), is a BAD thing to do, and may possibly lead to us coming back in another lifetime, and having to do it all over again.

SO, what if there is a person, that you haven't met yet, that is sometime in your future, who is pre-destined to learn a valuable life lesson from you? BUT by the time it comes around to that point in the future, you are no longer around, having killed yourself before then?  What happens to that person you haven't met yet? How do THEY learn the lesson that YOU were supposed to teach them?  Perhaps it is true that they may be able to learn part of that lesson from someone else, but surely if it was pre-destined that they were to learn that lesson from you, then they cannot even hope to learn as much from someone who isn't you. This means that by the time they die, they will not have learned everything that they were supposed to learn. THEY will also die with "Unfinished Business". And here is something else: What if not being able to learn that lesson from you causes them to kill themselves prematurely as well? Then what if there is a person in their future, who was supposed to learn a lesson from them, that cannot now be learned? And so on, and so on, and so on..........  It would seem then, that you killing yourself now, at least has the potential to alter the future for all eternity, and not necessarily for the better of legions more people than just yourself.  Is this then the real reason why suicide is considered to be so selfish?

My final question is this: If by killing yourself, which in many religions around the world is a sin anyway, you have caused someone else to die with unfinished business, possibly meaning that they will have to come back and do it all again, when they may not have had to do that if only you had stuck around, or possibly meaning that they also kill themselves early and are no longer around to teach someone else, then what are the spiritual rammifications for yourself, for your own soul? Could this be the main reason that killing yourself is considered to be such a major sin? Maybe then it is not so much about what you do to just your own soul, as what you have done to potentially countless other peoples' souls as well?

Download 2010 - Ruined!

Mk1 Offspring and I were so looking forward to the Download Festival this year.  Everything was meticulously planned in advance, not just by myself, but also by a really caring friend of mine who was attending the festival as well, and who remembered things such as not just myself having a (previously) broken back, but also MK1 Offspring being a diabetic (type 1-insulin dependant) and also having Asperger Syndrome and not being able to cope with large crowds so well.  So between the two of us, we made sure that the people who were organising Download this year were given (on several occasions) a full list of mine and Mk1 Offsprings "Challenges" - ALL of which they said they could, and would, accommodate.

Unfortunately this did not happen - on a LARGE scale.

As a result, Mk1 Offspring and I spent all of the festival in really bad pain and/or distress, we were forced to miss most of the groups that we had gone to see, and Download 2010 was absolutely ruined for us.  I have sought advice on the subject and I have contacted the company concerned (who admitted what they did to us), requesting that they reimburse to me any and all monies paid to them for the Festival, politely informing them that they had 5 days in which to issue me with a hopefully favourable reply to my request, after which time I would have no other option but to pursue the matter further. I have not asked for further compensation than simply the monies that I paid to them, and yet they still have not replied. Perhaps they are waiting to see if I WILL take the matter further. Given what they did to myself and my son, this would be a foolish course of action for them to take.

I get the feeling that it might be unwise for me to comment further at this stage, and detail exactly what they subjected us to as I am not certain, but there may be legal rammifications if I did so, but suffice to say in many ways My son and I wish that Download had not happened.

Through perseverance and sheer strength of will, we did manage to glean some small amount of enjoyment from the festival, and I will blog about this once our photos have been developed and uploaded.

Thursday, 24 June 2010

Ordinary People, Blogs, and Twitter

I watched an actor on a T.V chat show recently who was full of his own self importance. I dont normally have anything to do with chat shows as generally I have found they dont interest me much, but MK1 Offspring and I had been watching a DVD and the T.V was unusually now on in the background while I was doing something else. The actor asked the host who was interviewing him the following question: "Why do ordinary people feel the need to have blogs and Twitter accounts? It's not as if they have anything worth saying. What I mean is, it's not as if anyone wants to hear that they had a bacon sandwich for breakfast that morning."  O.K, I can't really argue with the "bacon sandwich" bit, even I think thats a bit ludicrous, but what about the rest of it?  This person was so "famous" himself that I dont even know who he was. Not surprising maybe, coming from someone who doesn't often have the time to watch T.V, but even I am aware of who the truly famous people are. I guess there is "famous" and then there is FAMOUS.

How egocentric do you have to be to even think that only famous people have anything worth saying, or that is worth sharing with others who may be interested? Maybe the non famous person has other non famous friends who are interested in what they have done that day, and not living the celebrity lifestyle themselves, they dont necessarily expect their friend to have climbed Kilimanjaro, or starred in a new film for example.  The actor concerned also mentioned FaceBook and asked "Why dont these people just talk to their friends instead".  Well because some of us work stupidly long hours virtually EVERY week of the year, and some of us aren't always able to get out to meet our friends whenever we want to sweetie, thats why.  Also if you have been working all day and especially if you have children but dont have a fleet of nannies and staff at your beck and call, you dont always have the time and energy to spend even an hour on the telephone to your friends at the end of the day.  For most people the decision between spending an hour soaking in the bath, and spending an hour on the phone, listening to even their best friend talking about the new living room curtains they have just bought in IKEA, is actually a fairly simple one. FaceBook is not just for shut in's, sex addicts and perverts - it is mostly used by "ordinary" people who want to keep in touch with their friends, who want to make sure that their friends dont think that they have been forgotton in the midst of an increasingly busy life, and who ultimately do want to know about the new living room curtains, but who also want to take their rest when they need it and telephone their friends when they have the energy and enthusiam to do so.

As for Blogs?  I only started this blog because last year I became really pretty ill and I suddenly realised that having never written a book, I had nothing to leave behind for my son. I have been lucky enough to lead an extraordinary life, full of truly valuable life experiences, and if it wasn't for this blog they all could have been easily lost to my son forever. I am not a famous person, I do not have the benefit of having any part of my life documented by anyone other than myself. Of course I can and do tell my son about my life, but soon his life will become so full that he is likely to forget a lot of what I tell him, that is just the way it goes. I know that I have unfortunately forgotton an awful lot of the wonderful, insightful and valuable stories my grandparents told me, and in my absence, whenever that comes, I dont want the same thing to happen to my son.  I wouldn't know how to go about having a book published, and as a non famous person, I probably wouldnt be given the opportunity to do so even if I did know how, so this blog was the most immediate answer at a time when time itself seemed to be of the essence, and that is a good enough reason for me - even though I am not famous.

Miss Meehan's Preferred Afternoon Tipple.

It is a beautiful day...........

I was sitting in Danson Park multi tasking, well MY version of multi tasking anyway. The sun was out, and I was hiding from it under an umberella, swearing at my Blackberry for refusing to log onto the internet, writing this, reading a book ("Beautiful Creatures" by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl - this is about as close as I will ever get to reading a "Romance Novel". It is a really enjoyable book so please read it if you get the chance), waiting for MK1 Offspring to come out of school and generally enjoying the peace and scenery around the Boathouse and boating lake here. The only disturbance of the peace has been the occasional call of "BLT and a Tuna Melt......." from the woman behind the refreshment stand counter. I have to say that the peace is welcome at the moment, as due to our appalling treatment at the Download Festival, the last couple of weeks or so have been a bit fraught. So today has been lovely. Until that is, the ground started an almost imperceptible shudder under my feet, and there was a disconcerting noise coming from somewhere in the distance, which seemed to be getting nearer........

Suddenly a large group of school kids came crashing through the hedgerow, braying like Wildebeest (or whatever it is that Wildebeest do), and immediately headed for the Boathouse next to us.  The lady in the refreshment stand sprang into action by rushing out and doing her best to steady the tables with her hands (and feet), and trying to right the now toppling over umberellas with rapidly alternating elbows. She had obviously had some practice at this and would, I suspect, do very well in the Harrods New Year Sale. Either that or a Rugby Scrum.  In the midst of all this mayhem came a (male) shout; "Andre, Andre - ask Miss Meehan what she want's to drink".  Then another, younger, male voice shouted; "Miss, Miss, whadya wanna drink?"  Trailing some way behind the group was a red faced, clearly shell shocked and gasping woman, who was carrying a clipboard that had papers falling off it everywhere, and who had a whistle in her mouth that she inadvertently blew everytime she gasped a breath.  She could barely speak above a whisper, and still had the whistle in her mouth.  "Sir, Sir, Miss says she don't 'ave a drink".  "I KNOW that - what does she WANT to drink?" Andre huffed.  "Miss, whadya WANNA drink?" (more blowing on the whistle from Miss Meehan), "Sir - she jus' says she don't 'ave one".  "Sir" was in the middle of raising his eyes to the sky, when the humongous din that had been eminating from deep within the bowels of the boathouse rapidly ceased........ but only after there was a really loud crash. Clearly canoes and assorted boating paraphernalia had fallen from the stands, and the silence now indicated that potentially someone was hurt.  "Sir" forgot all about poor Miss Meehan's cuppa and darted off in the direction of the offending crash in a flurry of "not so much under his breath" muttered swearwords, white shorts that were WAAAY too tight to be decent, (and which were oddly teamed with a warm fleece jacket which had been accessorised with another whistle,) and really bad cheap aftershave.

Enough was enough. I rapidly discovered that it is almost impossible to type whilst running away in a blur of black lace, with a mobile phone in one hand, and a hastily scooped up mess of bags, tea, book and an egg sandwich on a paper plate in the other.

Poem: "The Distance"

I am in this place
Waiting for you,
Finally I am here
And you are here too.

We are seperated by feet
Just a distance it seems,
Both waiting in the dark
For the emergence of Dreams.

There is nothing for it
But to leap and to shout,
So you can see we are here
And turn right about.

But I know that wont happen
You busy, busy man,
So I'll leap about anyway
And do what I can.

Until one day soon I'll stop
Dreams shattered in Hope,
And I'll leap right away
Just like an Antelope!

(Bloody Hell - that last line was a desperate grasp for a rhyme, *cue unabashed sniggering at self* he he he. But Hell, poetry is meant to reflect life, which doesn't always go according to plan. Life isn't perfect, so why should poetry be?)

Copyright by Sami-Jane Harris. 2010. All rights reserved

Wednesday, 9 June 2010

Download 2010

Finally everything is sorted - Hotel is booked, transport is arranged, Guest Area Passes are sorted (wristbands to be picked up at Donington)  and now, after much too-ing and fro-ing (and an awful lot of worry) our Arena tickets are ready to be picked up at Donington as well (thank you for the help with butt-kicking LiveNation - you know who you are.x)

Yep - its that time again - Mk1 Offspring and I are off to Download 2010 and I am already hyper-ventilating, Mk1 Offspring is pretending to be cool about the whole thing, but is actually just as excited as I am. HIM + Airbourne + AC/DC + Aerosmith + Slayer = cant wait cant wait cant wait.

Regarding Slayer - it will be nice to finally actually see them at Download. I first attended Donington with my ex hubbie in '92 when it was still the Monsters Of Rock festival (those were the days - I wonder if the crowd still chuck bottles of pee around? - Sincerely hope not.) Anyway - ex hubbie and I had been out on the tiles for a couple of nights prior to Donington 92 and as we had to get the coach from the station at 08.00 on the Saturday morning, we didnt see the point in going to bed, so we stayed up - drinking. After finally persuading the coach driver to let us on the coach we arrived at Donington Park at around 10.45, which was far too early as the proceedings didnt start back then until about 2ish. So after milling around the stalls for a while we decided to go and find our "pitch" for the day on the field infront of the stage (only one in those days), when ex hubbie suddenly announced "Oh look - there's the beer tent". Ahem - famous last words. I am told the line up went like this: The Almighty were up first, then Slayer, Thunder, Skid Row, W.A.S.P and finally Iron Maiden headlined. I vaguely remember The Almighty starting - sort of, my ex hubbie woke me up just in time to see Slayer heading back off stage - having already performed their set, and I didnt remember that Thunder were there at all until a couple of months ago when I checked an old Donington site and had to ring ex hubbie to confirm! I was truly pissed off at myself about Slayer as they were one of the groups that I went there to see - so since I have been taking a break from drinking since 2004 I am really looking forward to actually seeing them this time. As for the rest - Sebastian Bach fell on his butt, Blackie had another chest infection and Iron Maiden performed their "Fear of the Dark" set and stormed the place!

Unfortunately, by the end of the day our beleagured coach driver had had enough of being harrassed by leather and stud clad inebriates so he refused to let us back on the coach, meaning that we spent the night sleeping in a bin bag in a more than damp field - and I had forgotton my inhalers. So by the time we eventually made it home I arrived with a rather nasty case of severe bronchitis - sorry mum!  This time things are a little different, lol - Mk1 Offspring and I are booked into a nice hotel in Derby for 4 nights, we have Guest Area Passes due to my inability (and frankly unwillingness) to sit in a damp field in the pissing rain with 100,000 inebriates anymore - and I have already packed enough inhalers to out stock an Asthma Awareness Summer Camp.

Here's to Monst Download 2010!

Wednesday, 2 June 2010


Ok, so I am not going to say that I have given up smoking, largely because I "gave up" smoking last year for two months, vowing NEVER to smoke another cigarette again. Lo and behold, as soon as real stress reared its ugly head - out came the Marlboros.

Lesson well and truly learned.

SO - just the same as I did with the drinking, this time I am just not smoking for the moment....and so far, it seems to be going pretty well.