Saturday, 28 November 2009

1 problem, 4 maintenance men and an unusual day.

I wrote this a couple of weeks ago but I was really pretty poorly immediately after, so this is the first real opportunity I have had to get on this thing since. Ok explanation for absense over so here is the post:

5.30pm - I've been sitting here listening to two Gas Engineers winding each other up about their unfair working conditions and what an idiot/bastard their boss is. One is definitely the chatterbox, and the other is the "get it done" type. "Get it done" keeps telling chatterbox that he doesnt need any help, (he just wants to get on to his last two jobs on the other side of town) and chatterbox is so not getting the message. The irony is that chatterbox has finished his bit of the job first (of course), and is now hanging around to help "Get it done". All he is managing to do is make "Get it done" late for his last two jobs and Get it done is not a happy engineer. Bless him, he came in here all happy and chirpy, and will be leaving with a face like a slapped arse. You just know, listening to these two fine examples of british workmen (lol) that they will not, infact be tearing thier boss an extra arsehole despite all thier claims to the contrary. Instead, upon leaving Chatterbox will be going home to a TV Remote and a Shepherds Pie, and "Get it done" will now be travelling halfway across town for most of the night.

Today has been a bit of a debarcle to be honest, and a trial to say the very least. First of all the Caretaker was booked to come round and change all my overhead light fittings (read on and you will see why), and when he arrived at 12.05pm he changed a grand total of (drum roll please.......) 1, (out of 7). Secondly, around 07.30 this morning I had noticed that my kitchen sink had sprung a sudden and somewhat alarming leak from the drainaway. Actually, I say "noticed", what happened was that I threw last nights cup of tea in the sink, ready to make a new one, and then spent the next half an hour mopping the floor, washing my feet, and putting my slippers in the washing machine. I had only just woken up, had a nasty shock and now had to do housework at stupid a.m. without the buffer of my morning cuppa, and more importantly MY FAGS! I was not a happy person when I called the maintenance company responsible for the working order of my sink. They told me that they couldnt come round today, but a full 15 minutes of threats and expletives later they had ammended that to "there will be someone around between 12-5pm.......errm,..............we are very sorry." As the caretaker was due to arrive between 12-2pm, that sounded ideal.

The caretaker turned up at 12.05pm and was gone by 12.15. The maintenance engineer turned up at 12.20pm. "Perfect" I thought, "10 minutes to change the washer in the sink drainaway, and then I can have a now long overdue nap as my son didnt sleep so well last night (see earlier blog re son's sleep condition). No such bloody luck! The maintenance man turned up with some Dr Who looking device to fit to my boiler, and had nothing to do with the kitchen sink. A Dr Who looking device which apparently lets me know when the next Annual Gas Safety Check is due, and there was me using my calendar for the purpose, while all this time there has been a Super-Duper, New Fangled, Dr Who type thingy on the market to do the job for me. A Super-Duper, New Fangled Dr Who type thingy that doesnt actually work as it turns out. Anywaaay.......... maintenance man No2 tells me that there will be another maintenance man along later in the day to fix my errant leaky sink. Then he tells me that the Super-Duper New Fangled Dr Who type thingy needs a backplate (whatever that is for), which maintenance man No3 "Get It Done", who is coming to wire it all in, will bring with him.

No3 "Get It Done" turned up at around 3pm confident that the job would only take about half an hour but I was sceptical. My boiler has never been known for cooperating well with anyone or anything and I told him so. The Silly Sod didnt listen to me, until 5pm, when red faced with embarassment and exertion, he told me that the Super-Duper New Fangled Dr Who type thingy had a fault on it, the boiler was a bastard, and he would have to come back on a different day to fit another one. On his way out he conceded "You were right about that bloody boiler - it's cursed". In the middle of all of this maintenance man No4 "Chatterbox" turned up at around 3.45 to fit a new washer in my kitchen sink drainaway. He promptly dismembered the whole thing, and after an hour or so of unnecessary kitchen sink surgery (although very necessary for bumping up his bank balance), and stopping "Get It Done" from actually getting it done, he announced that he had changed all the washers in the sink including the ones that didnt need changing, without actually being asked to do so. Now I dont mean to be ungrateful, but I live in a house with a far left wing boiler that regularly goes out on strike and occasionally calls out various kitchen appliances, all of the overhead lightbulbs (see caretaker), most of the table lamps and other assorted mechanical and electrical paraphernalia with it. So I operate within a very strict "If it isnt broken, for pity's sake dont even touch it" framework. As such I am now waiting for my kitchen sink to become London's answer to Rome's Trevi Fountain.